MoneyMoneyMoney in Laos

We've been on the road now for just over a month. It's been quite a journey already! We both learned a lot from these cultures, being together, being busy and doing nothing at all. Every day we do our meditation practise in the mornings and most days we practise yoga as well.
During my meditation practise I notice how many times my mind gets distracted by money related issues. I just start realising how much control I want to have over our money flow and through that how much control money has over me. The idea of not having enough money freaks me out and I start appreciating travellers who travel with nothing even more.
Every day it takes me up to half an hour of mditation to get into stillness with myself and most of the time I spend looking into the future! How much money do we have, how much do we spend, where do we want to go and what do we want to learn. I'm also terrified by the fact that I've got no clue what I'm about to do after travelling, even though I expect that we'll be on the road for some time I already have the feeling that I should know what I need to do when I'm back, where to live, how to survive.
I realise that all these ideas are fake ideas of creating a fake feeling of safety. It's all an illusion and everything is created in my mind. Just now, I came out of a self-regression meditation where I went back to my childhood, I saw how money orientated I was. Always saving all my money, I knew exactly how much I had and wouldn't spend to much from it. Always the need to have more, saving, saving, saving.
It became a game to have as much money as possible. As I got told that it is good to have a good control over my money I felt like I'm really good at this. And so far it happened to be like this as well. Just now I'm realising that this has a opposite site to it as well. It's not that it is not good that I now how to save money, it's amazing! It's just that I want to learn how to let go of that need to control it, as I notice that my mind is occupied with it so many times when it's totally unnecessary.

At the same time I see the people here in Laos, many are poor and happy! We travelled on a scooter through the country and visited small villages where we got pointed at because we're white. One day we were driving on an extremely muddy road with our scooter and got a flat tire in this tiny village. We found a mechanic who worked on it for over half an hour and we spend 3.50 euro included a new inner tire. In the meanwhile the family invited us for a drink and we drank at least for 2 euros beer and then lunch was served and we needed to have lunch with them as well. I put my veganism and not drinking aside for a moment to just experience this hospitality fully. One guy spoke English so he became the translator, he said the family consists of around 50 persons who come a couple of times each week together, those who can come and those who can't come next time. It's an important happening and the whole family lives in the same area. It's so different from our culture, spending up to 3 whole days together with the whole family where everybody is taking care of everybody. Of course they'll have there deeper issues as well, but they were so close and happy with this big family all together. It was a beautiful eye opening experience! In the end we really needed to say that we needed to go as they kept on refilling our glasses and we started to feel the alcohol quite well, of course we needed to drive another 100 km on who knows how good or bad the roads would be.

Have a beautiful day and may many insights come to you!

Namaste