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15 februari 2018
Insights on my blog "money"
As soon as I posted it I felt like doing yoga and meditation. Pick up reading and writing again. Even though I'm not happy with the lack of work and uncertainties around the next weeks, I can't change it so it's a waste of energy to stay in this self torture/suffering. It is what it is and that's okay.
I spoke with my dear friend Bri, who is working on this awesome online yoga project in Mexico at the moment. She probably didn't realise it, but as always she inspired me big time! Time to get out of my self pity and make an effort.
I had some great conversations about yoga and meditation with my roomies, I could show them the benefits I gain from it which made me realise that I'm practising to little.
I see this cycle over and over again. I'm living my life in a very equanimous way, do my yoga, eat a healthy vegan diet. Almost no added sugar or processed foods. Then something small happens and I start craving some comfort foods or habit like watching a movie. I get completely swallowed by that. Sometimes it's a conscious choice, sometimes I have no clue that I'm doing it. This goes for a little while, I feel out of balance but not yet to the degree that I make an effort to restore the balance again. It feels like an effort even though I know it's more an effort to keep treating myself/mybody like shit.
Then there is a breakthrough and I start the cycle all over again.
The good thing is that the cycle definitely is getting shorter and less extreme. Where I used to be completely asleep for years while smoking weed, now it's a matter of hours or days before I realise that I falling in this trap again.
Next couple of days I'll do a water fast and will focus on meditation and yoga. Reading about different diets and their benefits.
Hopefully in a couple of days we'll be working again. And if not then not, I'll take it as it comes and otherwise just look for a different job
15 februari 2018 14:54 | Door: Ellen
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